Thursday, April 27, 2017

W is for Who are you

W is for Who are you?
OK, just for the record, this post theme was thought up when I was stoned in my shed talking to Ms Meow. Now that i am writing it, i am not stoned at all and wondering what the hell i was thinking. Anyway.....
Who are you? Who am I? When I used to go to a therapist, that question, or some variation of it, was the first question they asked. I mean, lots of times when you meet someone this is the first question they ask. At least I do. I am super awkward when I meet people and if I start feeling weird and can't run away or find someone i know to cling to, I blurt shit out. One of my default word vomits is "So who are you?" The answer is usually different depending on the situation.
For a therapist: "Well I am Katy, i live around here. I am married to a really great guy and I have 2 cats." I do not intro with my past mental health issues. I have mentioned here before, I stopped going to therapists because once they hear about my past I turn into a fascinating object of study instead of a person who is there because she desperately needs someone to talk to that can suggest reasonable coping skills and can give unbiased opinions on just how crazy she is acting.
For a new persona at a party: "I'm Katy, i live around here, i am married and i have 2 cats. They are really cute, wanna see pictures!?"
For a new Co-worker: "Hi, I am Katy, i am the IT person, I fix all the stuff that has a plug. Don't be afraid to call me if you have any questions, I can answer a lot of things or i can help you find someone that can."
See? Several different types of answers to Who are you. But what is the answer when you ask yourself Who you are. Who is the person you are trying to be. Do you even know? Do you like that person? I try to live a life that when I look in the mirror and ask myself that, I am proud of the answer, I want to be proud of the person in the mirror and I should really like her. Sometimes i get lost, and i forget that i should be asking myself who i am, and not defining who i am by what others expect me to be. I did that once and what i saw in the mirror was not someone i liked. So i changed. It was hard and it hurt a lot because I lost a lot of people who i thought were my friends. I have done this change several times, its called growing up I believe. Now I like myself. I like my authentic personality, I like my response to who i am. I have written before the answer to Who am i in my post "Being a Women in IT" and I liked it a lot. I forgot to mention in it though, I have 2 cats, wanna see pictures?!!
I am just Katy. I am a special ed student who was hospitalized twice for mental issues as a teenager. As an adult I had worked my way up to be an IT Manager at a nation wide company despite being discriminated against for being a women. I started out in IT without a college degree and then only going to school online. I own my own house and pay my mortgage on time, I have bought and paid off a car on my own, I have lived by myself in the past and I paid the down payment on my house out of my own savings. I am in a healthy marriage to a Union Boilermaker and we are planning on starting a family soon. I have good friends, I have a family and in-laws that love me. I curse, I get crazy sometimes, and I often make mistakes. I have a lot to learn about life and everything, but I am a strong, proud women and I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about me.

A quote from Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (one of my very favorite books of all time). A moment where a whale had to answer the question "Who am I" in a very short span of time. Here is a link to the Youtube video of the movie version of this moment. 

“Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.

This is a complete record of its thoughts from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.

Ah … ! What’s happening? it thought.

Er, excuse me, who am I?


Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?

What do I mean by who am I?

Calm down, get a grip now … oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach.

Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?


Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation …

Or is it the wind?

There really is a lot of that now isn’t it?

And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.”

― Douglas AdamsThe Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

V is for unusual V shaped words

V is for unusual V shaped words
OK I have something to admit. Well 2 things actually. the first one is, I LOVE WORDS. I cant spell worth a shit (i try, really i do) and my written grammar is awful sometimes (speaking i am not to bad), but I love the american language and I totally wish I was one of those people who could pick up other languages really easy and learn words in other languages too. Words are just so cool, they have so many different meanings, the history of language is really neat and like, how words earned their meaning is super cool too! I wrote a little about this before in an old post "Words & Opinions" The second thing I have to admit it i love the a to z challenge but some letters leave me blank as to what to write about, so i default to scouring the internet in search of interesting words that start with the letter of the day. After getting lost for a substantial amount of time, rather then picking one word I am like "Oh, my readers need to learn about ALL THESE WORDS!!" and I end up with a list like I did for the letter G and the letter O, So, here is another list for the letter V courtesy of The Phrontistery

Awesome V shaped words. 

  • vaaljapie inferior wine
  • vacatur annulment
  • vaccary dairy or cow pasture
  • vaccimulgence cow milking
  • vacherin sweet mixture of meringue and whipped cream
  • vacillate fluctuate in opinion or resolution
  • vacive empty
  • vacuefy to produce a vacuum
  • vacuist one who holds that an absolute vacuum is possible in nature
  • vacuity emptiness
  • vacuole fluid-bearing cavity in organic tissue
  • vadimony bond or pledge given before a judge
  • vafrous cunning; sly
  • vagant roaming, wandering
  • vagarian whimsical person
  • vagation act of roaming or wandering
  • vagient crying like a baby
  • vagility ability to succeed in the struggle for existence
  • vagulate to wander; to waver
  • vainglory idle boastfulness
  • vallidom worth, value
  • valse dance in triple time; waltz
  • vambrace armour for the forearm
  • vaniloquence vain or foolish talk
  • vanitarianism pursuit of vain things
  • vansire carnivorous South African ferret
  • vaporiferous making steam or vapour
  • vapulate to flog; to be flogged
  • vardle bottom hinge of a gate
  • vardo gypsy caravan
  • varvel metal ring attached to hawk's jess that connects to a leash
  • vastation purification through destroying evil elements
  • vasy slimy
  • vau sixth letter of the Hebrew alphabet
  • vecordy madness, foll 

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

U is for unchanging

U is for Unchanging
I am going to tell you about my ride to work.
When I lived and worked in South Jersey I would drive though a small town. On my way to work I passed an old man who has some sort of mental illness. He had a very young maturity level, but was very loved by a lot of people. Every day around 7:30 am I would pass him on his way to the bus stop. He was always wearing a funny hat. Thanksgiving was a turkey hat, Christmas was a funny red and green hat, he had duck hats and jester hats, all kinds of fun hats. I looked forward to seeing him every day.
When I lived in another part of Jersey and worked at another job i would drive to work an hour through a lot of back roads. One day I saw a deer on the side of the road and a HUGE bald eagle eating it. Over the course of 4 days this eagle ate the deer carcass. By the time he was done and the bugs had gotten to it, in less then 2 weeks it was all bone. It was amazing to watch.
During that same drive I would pass cranberry farms. I got to watch the growth and picking of cranberry's. The fields get filled with water and the workers ride through it with these big ol' bicycle looking things and then the nets reel them all in and fill the trucks up. So cool to watch.
When I drive to work now I pass a lot of runners. They inspire me. One women I watch she runs miles and miles in her hasidic jewish clothes. Covered head, long sleeves, long leggings and with a skirt over it. She seems like such a tough cookie. I wish I could meet her and talk to her.
Another guy I pass who runs every day, I remember his first day he went running. I could tell because he was out of shape and sweating a lot and clearly out of breath. Every day he runs either on my way to work and I see him or in the afternoon on my way home. I watched him lose pound after pound and every week he was further along in his run then he used to be and much less out of breath. I wish I could tell him I was proud of him.
Every morning I see one guy who wears a red shirt and jeans. We usually wave. He's always wearing the same thing.
Some of these people I don't see any more because I have moved away or they aren't around any more. I don't know their name or anything about their lives. I make up stories in my head about them and how they got there and where they are going. Most of them don't notice me and I don't want them to. Its like this tiny innocent piece of life that I keep in my mind, all pure and perfect.
I wonder if anyone watches me? Weirdos.

Monday, April 24, 2017

T is for the Troll in my Purse

In case you didn't know, I have a troll that lives in my purse. He goes by #thetrollinmypurse on Instagram and he has his own page here on my blog: The Troll in my Purse, so keep following along since I am sure there will be many Troll adventures in the future. 

Here are some of his adventures so far:

Trolling around in the recesses of a jewelry jungle (check out! )

Troll watching the Daytona 500. We love #78! Go Truex!! 

Troll at the Dita von Teese show! He was a bit scandalized by all the boobies.
Troll picking up the hot young Trolls
Chillin at the Giants game. Literally. Naked Trolls get cold in the snow too!! 

At a yacht club breakfast on a rainy day in Jersey

 Workin. Small troll hands can get in those tiny places

 National Cat cuddles day with Ms Meow

 National cat day posing with Penny

 Driving a Bobcat Skidsteer
 IHOP Breakfast with the Hunny

Saturday, April 22, 2017

S is for Science

Today is Earth Day. Today is also the day of the March for Science. Science is not just a huge thing you can just say "I march for science" so, hold on, lets get a definition of science going here....

OK, since you can't just march and expect Science to be like "aww, thanks guys for supporting me", lets discuss the reasons for this march today. I read the March for Science website and Facebook and I also read a lovely article by The Atlantic, and that article I think has the best break down of explanations about Why there is a march going on.

  1. Celebrate “passion for science.” Science is what makes us understand why the world goes round and helps us to continue letting it do that. This is a damn fine reason for a march. 
  2. Celebrate what science does for people and “the many ways that science serves our communities and our world.” Electricity doesn't come from the magic outlets in the walls and through the magic lines on poles. Its science that gave us electricity and bajillions of other things. 
  3. Encourage the public “to value and invest in science” and “appreciate and engage with science.” Value?! Invaluable you mean! The government, rich people, and everyone else should throw money at science. Parents should be teaching their kids that science is cool and that we engage in it all day every day! 
  4. Encourage scientists to “reach out to their communities” and share their research and its impact. Scientist know all kinds of great stuff and are awesome to talk too! 
  5. Encourage scientists to “listen to communities” and consider their research from the perspective of the people they serve.  Sometimes the smartest people forget to listen.
  6. Affirm science as a “vital feature of a working democracy.” Has this been forgotten?  
  7. Show science to be “first and foremost a human process” that is “conducted, applied, and supported by a diverse body of people.” 
  8. Support research “that gives us insight into the world” and “upholds the common good.”
  9. Encourage people to “support and safeguard the scientific community.” 
  10. Call for robust federal funding “in support of research, scientific hiring, and agency application of science to management.” THIS is a good reason for a march. Science and understanding the world around us is IMPORTANT. If we don't understand how shit works, how can we fix the shit we keep breaking? 
  11. Advocate for “open, inclusive, and accessible science” that is “freely available.” Can you believe that this needs to be said? It does though. People are hiding their research so it doesn't get exploited, I get that, but if you don't share what you know, then how can someone else make a difference in the world with that knowledge? 
  12. Support science education that teaches people “to think critically, ask questions, and evaluate truth based on the weight of evidence.”  Take chances, get messy, make mistakes!!! - Ms. Frizzle. 
  13. Encourage political leaders and policy-makers to enact evidence-based policies, and “make use of peer-reviewed evidence and scientific consensus, not personal whims and decrees.” ::sigh:: Why does this need to be said? Why does this need to be something that is marched for?! But it does, really it does, cause right now they are in fact enacting things that are based on personal whims and personal gain. Did you know that Trump call Climate change "a hoax created by and for the Chinese.", seriously. 
  14. Oppose “policies that ignore scientific evidence” or “seek to eliminate it entirely.”  In several states its illegal  to talk about climate change Link
  15. Oppose policies that “threaten to further restrict scientists’ ability to research and communicate their findings.” 
  16. Oppose an “alarming trend toward discrediting scientific consensus.” Antiscience Click that link, its a thing. 
  17. Oppose the “mischaracterization of science as a partisan issue.” Science is fact. That's sort of the whole point of it (see above definition), so its not a partisan issue, again how is this even a question?
  18. Protect science from “manipulation by special interests.” !!!!!!!
  19. Hold leaders in science and in politics “accountable to the highest standards of honesty, fairness, and integrity.” I like how this 'reasoning' does say "in science and in politics". Glad there is someone admitting its not ALL big governments fault.
  20. Stand up for scientists: “Speak up for them when they are silenced” and “protect them when they are threatened”. You don't need money to support Science, you just need a voice, big or small. Don't just let people spout bullshit you know is not true. Stand up for Science and scientists,, Stand up for Facts, don't just let the next generation come in thinking "electrolytes, it's what plants crave"
  21. Encourage and support a new generation of scientists “that increasingly includes historically underrepresented groups.”

Friday, April 21, 2017

R is for Mr Rogers

R is for Mr Rogers
Mr Rogers in my opinion deserves much more then a measly Blog post by me. He was a great man who decided he hated TV and wanted to change it.
"I got into television because I saw people throwing pies at each other's faces, and that to me was such demeaning behavior. And if there's anything that bothers me, it's one person demeaning another," he confessed to Amy Hollingsworth, author of "The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers." "That really makes me mad!"
He was one of those Nice People (see my N post). He was the same off screen as he was on screen and genuinely cared about people and children. He once said:
"One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that the kids can spot a phony a mile away."
He wore only sweaters hand knit by his mother,
He was married to the same women for 47 years
He was a vegetarian.
He once met a gorilla who loved to watch his show and took off his shoes. Koko the gorilla.
He spoke out loud every time he fed his fish because he knew of a blind girl who watched his show that was worried he didn't feed the fish.
He taught us about kindness and about admitting we were wrong from King Friday in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.
He was proud of all of us, even though he didn't know us.
My Favorite thing ever.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Q is for Questions

Q is for Questions
One of my biggest pet peeves in the whole world is when you need an answer to something, you go ask a person who should know the answer, and they say "I don't know" and that's it. Nothing line, "but I could check" or "but I can point you to a person that does know" or anything like that, nothing. Drives me freaking bonkers. This peeve is mostly exclusive to work, since in real life this doesn't usually apply. But still, I spend a lot of time at work so this pet peeve tends to crop up almost daily. The reason most of the time that a person says "I don't know" is because they never ask questions. They are told information and rather then asking about any depth to that information, they take it at face value and that's all. Take chances, get messy, make mistakes!! and let me add Ask Questions! Ms Frizzle has become one of my hero's as an adult. I didn't properly appreciate her until I grew up, now her go-get-em attitude, her self confidence, and her absolute joy in her job is something I aspire to. She doesn't believe in "I don't know", when someone says that to her, she drags their sorry ass to her Magic freaking School Bus, turns into a grasshopper or some shit, and shows them the freaking answers!! I try to imagine sometimes how my job would go if if said "oh, I don't know" and left it at that when someone calls and tells me their computer or cell phone is broken, "Hey Katy, my computer just turned off suddenly and when I turned it back on there are skulls on the background and the icons are all skulls now and its blinking" (that happened to me once, for real), what if my answer had been, "Oh wow. I don't know" and then I went back to whatever tinkering I was doing? HA! I wouldn't have a job is the answer. And yet somehow, so many other people do that exact same thing and still have a job, and are even looked to as very important people! I wish for one day I could be Ms Frizzle. I would be dragging folks to my Magic freaking School Bus and showing them how shit works all the damn time. Be like, "Oh you don't know how that that happened? Lets go inside the motherboard, and we will see how you must have pressed a button, cause computers only do what you tell them too!!"