Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Adult Friendships

What a nightmare it is, traversing the landscape that is adulthood. You spend 7+ hours a day at work or in some way spending time with people you don't really like, smiling that face of falseness that your paycheck or something else forces you too make. Then you get home and in your free time you try to put yourself in a happy little bubble with only people you like but then your happy little bubble changes as you grow up. People your friends with change or move away or you grow apart or something equally as depressing. Making new friends becomes something you require social skills for, and you forgot to develop those when you were busy smoking weed and playing video games with your high school buddies. That's okay, you think to yourself, I somehow made a couple friends along the way here that are still around. Then they start to grow up and change and have relationships with other humans, then you start to grow up and change and have relationships (hopefully). Now your put into situations with other people. Your spouse's friends, your spouse's friends spouse, that new loud buddy your other friend made, your co-workers who insist you go with them to grab a beer after work. Oh god, other people. Now we have to talk to those people and try and relate to those people. What if they have different political views then me and I think that they are uninformed idiots? Or what if they smell funny but they seem really nice? Or what if they are just reeeealy unlikable?
As an adult you have to look at relationships with a little more depth then we used to and you have to look at your own self with more depth too. It may mean that you have to let go of a friendship that at one time were extremely important to you and you need to be okay with losing that friendship and not hang on to it just because its comfortable. It also may mean making a friendship with people who you don't necessarily love every aspect about them. A good friend isn't always the person you trust with your weird secrets, but may instead be a person who you just enjoy a specific hobby with or maybe just has a similar schedule then you. A good friend may actually be a few people who each hold one part of you. 
You can't always avoid someone that you don't really like either. Sometimes you have to smile and just deal and make the best of a situation that you wouldn't normally put yourself in. I struggle with my own principals when I am put in situations like this. I want to be an honest person, I never want to be considered "fake" to others or feel like I am just acting like I do at wok. When I am in a setting where I have to smile and deal and its not work, I really feel like a big faker. But spending time with someone you didn't think you liked is not necessarily being fake, its understanding that just because your ego decided something about another person, sometimes you need to put on your big girl bloomers and realize that its just your ego talking and grow up and look past that. Being genuine and honest and not fake, also means you have to be kind and empathetic at times.

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