So most people have a bucket list of things they want to do. I can't say I actually do, but I imagine that there are people that do since they made a movie with Morgan Freeman about the concept. Rather then a bucket list, here is my Anti-bucket list. This is all the stuff I really do not want to do before I die.
- Jump out of a plane/bungee jump/anything involving going from a very high place to the ground at terminal velocity. Please excuse my language here, but Fuck that shit. I like my feet on the ground and the good lord did NOT give me the ability to fly. I extremely dislike that feeling you get when your stomach lodges in your throat because you were foolish enough to think a machine or a pile of fabric will save your crazy ass from hitting the ground at a speed that will make your guts see the sunlight.
- Get a black eye from a bar fight. Interesting fact about me, I have never been in a a bar fight. I have been in a few shoving matches at concerts but I have never been in a real bar fight. I am a mouthy little bitch sometimes and when I was in my early 20's I did spend a large portion of my weekend nights drinking at bars, but I didn't really attract the kind of folks that fight. Also I am a wuss that hides behind bigger meaner people then me when shit goes down.
- Eat or do something horrible and post it on YouTube. Listen, I appreciate the folks that do because it cracks me up, but I have no idea what happens in peoples brain that makes them even THINK of this stuff, like these guys that make a cake with muscle simulators or the LA beast (that video link is the most cringe worthy thing I have ever seen in my life). I guess my head just doesn't work that way. Good.
- Pretty much anything my husband does at work. This video is a very cool video that shows a bunch of things he does. It makes the whole thing seem way more rock-star then it actually is, although I never met a boilermaker who didn't think he was on the same level of awesome as a rock star. Climbing high things, cleaning and grinding and scraping difficult things in awful places, working in very hot and very cold weather, doing exactly what your boss says even if its stupid, working with and depending on people who think setting their shoes on fire is a safe way to dry your shoes off, tight spaces, high spaces, unsafe spaces, long hours, crazy hours, no freaking way.
- Do karaoke in front of people I don't know. Hell, doing karaoke in front of people I DO know would be bad, but I may someday be out of my mind enough to do it. But singing in front of a group of people I don't know seems like something the devil would do to torment my damned soul in hell. I am a terrible singer, like really not good; and showing off my nasally, off key, tone deaf singing voice with my superhuman ability to always be off time is something I never want to do.
So there it is. I am sure there are a few more. Anyone else got a couple they want to share??